ELEPHANTS PAYBACK

An elephant is walking through the jungle when she gets a thorn in her foot.
She is in absolute agony until an ant strolls by. So the elephant says,
"Help me, help me." But the ant refuses unless the elephants agrees to let the ant have his wicked way with her.

Meanwhile, in a tree directly above them, a monkey, who witnessed the whole episode, was in fits of laughter. Suddenly, he fell out of the tree, landing directly on top of the elephant. "Ouch!" Says the elephant.

Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant's backside and force fed it for 2 weeks. But because the experiment had never been documented and the idea was hard to comprehend, they decided to have a go. A week after the experiment had started they began to realize WHY the idea had never been tried and they were stuck for someone to pull the cork out.

One of the scientists came up with the bright idea of training a monkey to do the job, so they spent the next week training it to pull out corks once a buzzer had rung, then push it back in for another go. The big day arrived, they set up all the monitoring equipment and set out to a safe distance.

The first scientist went 1 mile away, the second went 2 miles away and the third went 3 miles. When they were all ready the first scientist pushed the button to sound the buzzer. BBBAAANNNGGG!!!!!!!

The third scientist (3 miles away) was up to his ankles in shit, the second (2 miles away) was up to his knees and the first (1 mile away) was up to his waist. When the others joined the scientist who was 1 mile away they noticed that he was in fits of laughter.

"What the %$*& is so funny?" asked one of the scientist.

~ Getting anything done around here is like mating elephants. It's done on a very high level. There's a lot of stomping and screaming involved. And it takes two years to get any results.

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