Did you hear about the experimental line of Lesbian running shoes? They're called Dike's, but they never sold very well; the tongues weren't long enough.

The doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast. As he stormed out of the house, the man angrily yelled to his wife, "You aren’t that good in bed either!"

By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answered the phone. "What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?" he asked.

"I was in bed," she replied "What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?"

A man in a hotel lobby wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, "Ma'm, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."

An old farmer was hauling a load of manure when he was stopped by a state trooper. "You were speeding," the cop said. "I'm going to have to give you a ticket."

"Them flies that circle a horse's ass," answered the farmer. "Them are circle flies."

"You wouldn't be calling me a horse's ass, would you?" The trooper angrily asked.

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