Quotes

"According to a new report, this year airline passengers have been subject to longer delays and ruder service than ever before.

When asked about it, a spokesperson for the airlines said, 'Shut up and get back in line!' " - Conan O'Brien ~ ~ ~

"Neither of my parents understand how an answering machine works.

When my mother leaves me a message she's actually trapped inside the machine.

It is just like a desperate cry, 'Carol? Carol? Are you there? I'm in the machine.'

And my father's even worse. He leaves me messages like this, 'Uh, tell her that her father called.'" - Caroline Rhea ~

"According to a new survey, 1 out of 3 men would not go to a doctor if they had chest pains.

With women, it's different. When women have chest pains, 2 out of 3 men pretend to be doctors." - Jay Leno ~ ~ ~

"Women forty-nine years old are having their first child. Forty-nine! I couldn't think of a better way to spend my golden years.

What's the advantage of having a kid at forty-nine? So you can both be in diapers at the same time?? - Sue Kolinsky