TOP TEN REASONS WHY TWINKIES DON'T HAVE SPAM FILLING

10. Spam's shelf-life is 1/2 of Twinkies' cream.

9. Spam is an entree, Twinkies are dessert.

8. Spam can't survive a nuclear holocaust.

7. The kids just won't eat that stuff.

6. Hormel and Hostess don't get along.

5. Tinned meat is politically incorrect.

4. Twinkies won't sell with the words "Pig Filling" on the side.

3. Gay-bashers would be plumb out of defenses.

2. Dolly Madison would roll over in her grave.

and #1....

Cuz the corporate big wigs don't go in for that pinko liberal crap.