Beethoven's Ninth

A number of years ago, the Seattle Symphony was doing Beethoven's Ninth
under the baton of Milton Katims.

At this point, you must understand two things:
(1) There is a long segment in this symphony where the bass violins do
not have a thing to do. Not a single note for page after page.

(2) There used to be a tavern called Dez's 400 right across the street
from the Seattle Opera House, rather favored by local musicians.

It had been decided that during this performance, after the bass players
had played their parts in the opening of the Ninth, they were to quietly lay
down their instruments and leave the stage rather than sit on their stools
looking and feeling dumb for twenty minutes.

Once they got backstage, someone suggested that they trot across the street
and quaff a few brews. After they had downed the first couple rounds, one
said, "shouldn't we be getting back? It would be awfully embarrassing if we
were late."

Another, presumably the one who suggested this excursion in the first
place, replied, "Oh, I anticipated we could use a little more time, so I tied a
string around the last pages of the conductor's score. When he gets down
to there, Milton will have to slow the tempo way down while he waves the baton
with one hand and fumbles with the string with the other."

So they had another round and finally returned to the Opera House, a little
tipsy by now. However, as they came back on stage, one look at their
conductor's face told them they were in serious trouble.

Katims was furious! And why not? After all...

It was the bottom of the Ninth, the score was tied, and the basses were
loaded.

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