BIG BUSINESS AT IT'S BEST.


I took some clients out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the
shirt pocket of out waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd,
but I dismissed it as a random thing, Until our busboy came with water &
tableware; he, too, sported a spoon in his breast-pocket. I looked around the
room, and all the waiters, waitresses, busboys, etc. had spoons in their
pockets. When our waiter returned to take our order, I just had to ask, "Why
the spoons?"

"well," he explained, "our parent company recently hired some efficiency
experts to review all our procedures, and after months of statistical
analyses, they concluded that our patrons drop spoons on the floor 73% more
often than any other untensil at a frequency of 3 spoons per hour per
klworkstation. By preparing all our workers for this contingency in advance,
we can cut our trips to the kitchen down and save time... nearly 1.5 extra
man hours per shift." Just as he concluded, a "ch-ching" came from the table
behind him, and he quickly replaced a fallen spoon with the one from his
pocket. "Ill grab another spoon the next time I'm in the kitchen instead of
making a special trip," he proudly explained. I was impressed. "Thanks. I
had to ask."

"No problem," he answered, then he continued to take our orders. As the
members of my dinner party took their turns, my eyes darted back & forth from
each person ordering and my menu. That's when, out of the corner of my eye, I
spotted a thin black thread protruding from our waiter's fly. Again, I
dismissed it; yet I had to scan the room and, sure enough, there were other
waiters & busboys with strings hanging out of their trousers. My curiosity
overrode discretion at this point, so before I could leave I had to ask.

"Excuse me, but...uh...why, or what...about that string?"

"Oh, yeah" he began in a quieter tone. "Not many people are that observant.
That same efficiency group found we could save time in the Men's room, too"

"How's that?"

You see, by tying a string to the end of our, eh, SELVES, WE CAN PULL IT OUT
AT THE URINALS LITERALLY HANDS-FREE and thereby eliminate the need to wash
our hands, cutting time spent in the restroom by over 93%!

"Oh, that makes sence," I said, thinking thru the process. "Hey,
wait-a-minute. If the string helps you pull it out, how do you get it back
in?" "Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the other guys; but I use my
spoon."

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