Dear Diary

Aug. 12

Moved to our new home in Vermont. It's so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see the snow covering them. I love it here!

Oct. 14

This is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the mountains and saw some deer. They are so graceful, certainly they are the most wonderful animal on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here.

Nov. 11

Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.

Dec. 2

It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won), and then the snow plow came by so we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place....I love Vermont.

Dec. 12

More snow last night. I love it. The plow did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here!

Dec. 19

More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snow plow!

Dec. 22

More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snow plow hides around the curve and waits until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Asshole!

Dec. 25

Merry Fucking Christmas! More frigging snow. If I ever get my hands on that son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll kill the bastard! Don't know why they don't use more salt on the road to melt the fucking ice!

Dec. 27

More white shit last night. Been inside for 3 days except for shoveling out the driveway after that snow plow goes through every time. Can't go anywhere, car's stuck on a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says to expect another 10" again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10" is?

Dec. 28

The fucking weatherman was wrong. We got 34" of that white shit this time. At this rate it won't melt before next summer. The snow plow got stuck up the road and that bastard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him that I had broken six shovels already shoveling all the white shit he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one over his fucking head.

Jan. 4

Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get some food and on the way back a damned deer ran in front of the car and I hit it. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those fucking beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.

Feb. 4

Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusting out from all that fucking salt they put all over the road.

Mar. 4

Moved to California. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that God-forsaken state of Vermont.


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