VOCABULARY TIPS OF THE DAY
AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who
has gone through labor to have sex again.
DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care
to order dessert.
FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your
children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of
financial disaster.
FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby
doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're
mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children
are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them
right.
HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a
dirty word.
IMPREGNABLE: a woman whose memory of labor is
still vivid.
INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as
long as they do everything we say.
OW: the first word spoken by children with older
siblings
PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your
own.
PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other
small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than
yours.
STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's
pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by
blowing on it.
TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child
wearing Superman jammies. TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when
the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar
grunting noises.
VERBAL: able to whine in words
WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your
house
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