REAL STORIES OF THE NON-TECHNICALLY INCLINED
I am sure you have run into some situations like these
before...
I worked with an individual who plugged their
power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not
understand why their computer would not turn on.
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1st Person: "Do you know anything about this
fax-machine?"
2nd Person: "A little. What's wrong?"
1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called
back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page.
I tried it again, and the same thing happened."
2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?"
1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want
anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the
recipient would open it and read it."
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I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery
in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you
think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery for this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote 'thingy,'" she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied,
"Why don't you drive over there and check about the
batteries...it's a long walk."
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Tech Support: "What does the screen say now."
Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Person: "How do I know when it's ready?"
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My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change
his address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call
asked where Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted
and said, "Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state
is it in?"
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Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One
day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm
almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use
copier machine paper," she told him. With that, the intern
took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
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I was working the help desk. One day one of the computer
operators called me and asked if anything "bad" would
happen if she dropped coins into the openings of her PC. I asked
her if this was something she was thinking of doing. She said,
"never mind" and hung up. So I got out my trusty tool
kit and paid her a visit. I opened her CPU case and sure enough,
there was 40 cents.
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One of our servers crashed. I was watching our new system
administrator trying to restore it. He inserted a CD and needed
to type a path name to a directory named "i386." He
started to type it and paused, asking me, "Where's the key
for that line thing?" I asked what he was talking about, and
he said, "You know, that one that looks like an upside-down
exclamation mark." He replied, "You mean the letter
"i"?" and he said, "Yeah, that's it!"
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This person had a broken lamp which he wanted to discard.
Unfortunately, the power cord ran under his refrigerator, making
it impossible to move the lamp while the cord was attached. He
decided to cut the cord, since the lamp was unusable anyway. He
didn't remember to unplug it first. I found him in the hallway
rolling back and forth.
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I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need
of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in
"Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He
told me that the driver had set the cruise control, then went in
back to make a sandwich
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I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who
answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to
hold?"
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I rented a movie from Blockbuster. Before the movie begins a
message comes on the screen saying, "This movie has been
altered to fit your television screen." Comment from person:
"How do they know what size screen I have?"
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