As she hears the wedding march, three things are foremost in a bride's mind:
aisle, altar, hymn.... (Get it??? I'll alter him!!!)

It doesn't much matter whom one marries, for one is sure to find out the next morning it was someone else.

If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.

Were it not for imagination, sir, a man would be as happy in the arms of a chambermaid as a duchess.

If a man hears much that a woman says, she is not beautiful.

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.

Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.

A wedding is a funeral where a man smells his own flowers.

A man is not complete until he is married -- then he is finished.

Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.

Marriage is a trip between Niagra Falls and Reno.

Marriage is an institution -- but who wants to live in one?

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.