Explosions

When I worked in the North African oil industry in the '80s, I returned from working on a well with my local operators. All our overalls were covered in crude oil and one of the operators offered to put them in the washing machine. On his way there he had a bright idea: we routinely used petrol (gasoline) to clean oil off our tools -- so why not give the overalls a good soak as well?
This done, he puts them in the washing machine, adds powder, dials up the program and-the instant he presses the 'ON' switch-
Kabooom! The fuel-soaked machine explodes setting fire to the building.
The building burnt down. He survived-a bit singed, but unharmed.

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An article in the London Free Press a few years ago recounts the story of a man who needed some gas for his lawnmower. No problem; he just grabbed a plastic gas can, hopped in his car and drove a couple of kilometers to the nearest gas station.
When he got there, he found that there was no cap for the gas can. Still no big problem. He filled the gas can up and then put it on the floor of the front passenger seat so that he could keep an eye on it to make sure it didn't spill on the way home.
While on the way home, he felt the urge for a smoke so he pulled out his cigarettes and pushed in the lighter. Then of course he had to take his eyes off the road to make contact with the lighter and cigarette and he hit a bump and spilled some of the gas.
NOW he had a problem!!!
[Editor's Note: Heck, he had a problem BEFORE the gas spilled. </vs>]
The newspaper reported that the fireball crossing the bridge almost caused another car to drive through the guardrail and into the river 20 meters below.
The "lawnmower man" was apparently lucky that he had the windows open on his car so that the force of the explosion was dissipated somewhat and he had a way to get out quickly with only second degree burns.

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I drive an 18 wheeler for a living and I deliver gasoline to gas stations and let me tell you there is a LOT of Level III stupidity around gasoline! Here are some examples and I invoke the Dave Barry disclaimer-I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
I was dropping gas into the tanks at a station and there was a car parked at the last pump. There were two people sitting in it doing nothing-no gas, windshield cleaning, nothing. Finally, the woman got out of the car with a camera, stood next to the trailer and proceeded to take some pictures of the mountains-SMOKING A FREAKING CIGARETTE!! She was puffing away two feet from 8500 gallons of explosive high-test. Level I stupidity.
I casually walked over and informed her that there were gas fumes in the area and that an explosion was a very real possibility. She was not too happy to hear that she could not smoke around gasoline but she put it out got back in the car. The car was parked about 5 feet from both the tank vents and from my trailer. As I continued unloading, I looked over there again and she is sitting in the car with the windows down SMOKING ANOTHER FREAKING CIGARETTE!! After getting myself out of cardiac arrest again, I walked over and informed her that she could not sit there and smoke in the car either because the vent pipes were blowing vapors out of the tanks. If they came in the windows she could cause an explosion. Level II at work here.
Her solution to the problem? Roll the windows up but leave them cracked so she could hold the lit end of her FREAKING CIGARETTE out the window!!! Level III and beyond! The sad part was, she had a little kid in the car with her and it's sad for two reasons: 1) She had no regard for the safety of her child, and 2) she has already started to reproduce. If stupidity were a felony, even OJ's team of lawyers couldn't keep her off of death row.
Another example of Level III stupidity:
I pulled into the loading rack at a refinery and a guy I used to work with came over to show me something he'd bought. It was a special cigarette lighter and he proceeded demonstrate it to me. I pointed out to him that he was at a gasoline loading rack and that there were gas vapors floating around and about 20,000 gallons of gasoline were setting there waiting for something to ignite it.
His response? "Oh well. Nobody was looking." And he hauls gasoline for a living! Maybe he needs to look up the term "ignition source."
And yet another example:
When my company hires new drivers, they are sent with experienced drivers to learn how to load fuels. One of the other drivers had a new hire with him and they went to a terminal to load a load of gas. While they were there the trainer walked around the other side of the truck to check the tires and when he walked back around there was the new man standing there SMOKING A FREAKING CIGARETTE!
"Put that damn thing out!!!" he yelled.
"Why?" came the response.
We need a Level IV stupidity.

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When I first met my wife, she was living in an apartment with a group of her friends (all female). My wife was out one night when one of her friends was entertaining back at the apartment. Well, my wife received a page (to which she responded) from the girl entertaining. She was in the middle of baking a cake and was perplexed. Should she follow the normal directions on the cake box or the high altitude directions since she was on the 3rd floor of the apartment building?
We live in Maryland.

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This is a true story and anyone living in the San Francisco Bay Area will probably remember reading it in the papers.
Two Oakland teen gang members were given the task of killing a former member of their gang who had gone straight. These accomplished professionals were chosen because they were relatively unknown to the police and the proposed victim.
Thus it came to pass that these two 17 -- I repeat, *seventeen* -- year olds went in and shot through the head another seventeen year old. Highly praised by their associates, they reveled in their feat. This was short lived, though, as one of the leaders later saw the real target driving in his car.
Saddened by their misfortune, they read the story of a gang related killing that involved a mistaken identity. Touched by the sentiment and emotion in the newspaper stories they dropped by the police to say they were sorry for their mistake. They had shot the wrong person.
As they were being arrested they exclaimed, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND-
WE DIDN'T KILL THE GUY WE WERE SUPPOSED TO."

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While I was in technical school in the Air Force in Biloxi, Mississippi, I met this guy who was in school to be an air traffic controller. He didn't come across as a very bright individual, and I asked him why he wanted to be in ATC.
He responded (imagine this with a very heavy backwoods southern accent), "Well, I'm real good at video games, so I figured I would be good at this, too."
At that very moment, I swore to myself that if this guy actually graduated his ATC class, I would never, ever board a plane again.
He only lasted 2 weeks, and was put in a career field better suited to his abilities: inventory clerk at Offutt AFB, Nebraska.
Whew!

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