BUBBA

There was a man named Bubba and Bubba knew EVERYONE in the whole world!!!
Once when Bubba got a new job, Bubba says to his new boss, "Boss, I know
everyone in the whole world!" His boss doesn't believe him, so he says "No
you do not know everyone in the whole world" but Bubba says "Yes I do!" so
Bubba's boss says "Well prove it!" then Bubba says "Pick someone... and I
know them!"

Well Bubba's boss thinks for a minute and then comes up with a name. "Tom
Selleck! I bet you don't know Tom Selleck!" Bubba says "Tom Selleck! Tom and
I were in boy scouts together when we were kids!" but Bubba's boss says "No
you weren't!" then Bubba says "Yes we were!" so they fly to Hollywood and
drive up to Tom Selleck's house. Bubba knocks on the door and Tom Selleck
answers and Bubba goes "Tom!!!" and Tom goes "Bubba!" and they hug and catch
up for 30 minutes and Bubba's boss can't believe it. But then he thinks "Well
that could happen, it's just one person," so he tells Bubba and Bubba says
"OK, pick somebody else!"

This time Bubba's boss has someone in mind! "The president, Bill
Clinton! You don't know Bill Clinton!" but Bubba says "Oh yes I do!
Bill and I were on debate team together in college!" Bubba's boss says "No
you weren't!" and Bubba says "Yes we were!" so they fly to
Washington and they catch up with the President at a press conference. They
work their way through the crowd until Bubba get's close enough to catch
Clinton's eye and waves "Bill!" and the President waves "Bubba!" and after
the press conference they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and Bubba's boss is
stunned-- he can't believe it. But then he thinks "Well that's just two
people in one country-- that doesn't mean he knows everyone in the whole
world!" so he tells Bubba and Bubba says "OK, pick someone out of the world
spectrum and I know them!"

And Bubba's boss knows just who to pick so he says "The Pope! You do not know
the Pope!" and Bubba says "The Pope! The Pope BAPTIZED me!" and Bubba's boss
says "No he didn't!" and Bubba says "Yes he did!" so they fly to Rome where
the Pope is giving Mass in front of hundreds of thousands of people. They
work their way through the crowd-- without much luck-- so Bubba says "Boss,
we're never gonna get there together through all these people so I tell you
what--I'll work my way up there and when I do, I'll give you a sign that
shows you I know the Pope!" and he leaves. Well Bubba's boss waits and waits
and waits and just when he's about to give up, he sees the Pope come out onto
the balcony and right there beside him is Bubba!

Shortly afterwards, Bubba's boss passes out. Bubba comes back and
finds his boss passed out and he fans him and says "Boss! Boss! Wake
up!" and when his boss comes to, he asks "Boss what happened?" Bubba's boss
looks at Bubba and says "OK, I can see Tom Selleck. I can see Bill Clinton...
hell, I can even take the Pope! But when somebody standing next to me asks
'Who's that up there with Bubba?' That's a little more than I can take!

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