JOKE #1:
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Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. The umpire walks up to the VIP section and yells something, and suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the side and onto the field. The stunned umpire shouted, "No, Mr. President! I said, 'Throw the first PITCH!'"

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JOKE #2:
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Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. "The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," Hillary says.

The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks.

"Oh, He'll have the fish," Hillary replies.

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JOKE #3:
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Q. Bill and Hillary are on a sinking boat. Who gets saved?
A. The nation.

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JOKE #4:
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Q. What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a dishonest lawyer?
A. Chelsea Clinton.

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JOKE #5:
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Q. What does Bill say to Hillary after having Sex?
A."Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."

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JOKE #6:
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Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and walks down the steps of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms. At the bottom of the steps, the honor guardsman steps forward and remarks, "Nice pigs, Mr. President".
Clinton replies, "I'll have to let you know that these are genuine Arkansas Razor Back Hogs. I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary. So, now what do you think?"

The honor guardsman answers: "Nice trade, Sir."

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JOKE #7:
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One day, Clinton called the White House interior decorator into the Oval Office. He was very furious and said, "Chelsea is very upset because she thinks she has the ugliest room in the entire White House; I want something done about it immediately!"

Yes Sir, Mr. President," the interior decorator replies. "I'll take those mirrors out right away!"

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JOKE #8:
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During the last Presidential campaign, Dole was asked the presidential underwear question: boxers or briefs?

After a moment's reflection, he answered, "Depends....."

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There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum. One night they decide they don't like living in the asylum. They decide they're going to escape.

So that night, after dinner, they evade the orderlies and sneak up on the roof. The moonlight stretches across the water: for them its stretching the way to freedom.

The first guy jumps from the roof of the asylum to the roof of the adjacent building. The second guy, however, just won't jump. He's afraid of falling.

So the first guy says to him, "Hey, I have a flashlight with me. I'll shine it between the buildings and you can walk over on the beam."

The second guy says, "What do you think I am, crazy?! You'd turn it off before I was half way across!"

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