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Subject: The FBI?
From a talk by R. James Woolsey, Director of Central
Intelligence, given at a conference on global organized crime.
"Just in case you think the FBI is not on the job, I have
received a true intercept (and this is not made up...it is not
Saturday Night Live) that the FBI made of itself while conducting
an investigation in San Diego. It was sent to me by a friend of
mine who used to be with counterintelligence in Washington. It is
called "The FBI Pizza Call." FBI agents conducted a
raid of a San Diego psychiatric hospital that was under
investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of
reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents
worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the
investigation called a nearby pizza parlor to order a quick
dinner for his colleagues.
The following telephone conversation took place and was
recorded by the FBI because they were taping the hospital."
>Agent: "Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas
and 67 cans of soda."
>Pizza Man: "And where would you like them
delivered?"
>Agent: "We're over at the psychiatric hospital."
>Pizza Man: "To the psychiatric hospital?"
>Agent: "That's right. I'm an FBI agent."
>Pizza Man: "You're an FBI agent?"
>Agent: "That's correct. Just about everybody here
is."
>Pizza Man: "And you're at the psychiatric
hospital?"
>Agent: "That's correct. And make sure you don't go
through the front doors. We have them locked. You will have to go
around the back to the service entrance to deliver the
pizzas."
>Pizza Man: "And you say you're all FBI agents?"
>Agent: "That's right. How soon can you have them
here?"
>Pizza Man: "And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is
an FBI agent?"
>Agent: "That's right. We've been here all day, and we're
starving."
>Pizza Man: "How are you going to pay for all of
this?"
>Agent: "I have my checkbook right here."
>Pizza Man: "And you're all FBI agents?"
>Agent: "That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can
you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service
entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked."
>Pizza Man: "I don't think so."
>[Click]
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