Dirty Ol Man

There was an elderly gentleman in a retirement center.

One day an older woman named Edna approached him and asked him if he would take her to
the movies on Friday.

Since there were very few woman in the center, the man asked her what she would do for him if he went.
She said she would hold his penis.
He said O.K.

A little while later Hazel came up to him ask him to go to the movies.
She also said she would hold his penis.

The next day Edna says to the old man , "Are we still on for the movies on Friday".
He says. 'No, I am going with Hazel."

Very upset , she asks, "What does Hazel have that I don't have!!!"
To which he replies, "She has Parkinsons".
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A fireman thought he was marrying a sexually naive woman, so he rigged up a bell on the posts at the foot of the bed.

When they came into the room on their wedding night, the bride exclaimed, " What's that for ?"
"Well, said the fireman, " when I ring it once, get out of your clothes;
when I ring it twice, jump up on the bed. When I ring it three times, get ready for some action !"

On the first ring , both disrobed; second ring, both jumped on the bed;
third ring, there was LOTS of action.

After about three minutes, the fireman heard DING, DING, DING, DING .
He said, "FOUR bells ? Whats that for ?"

And she said, " Either let out more hose, or get CLOSER to the FIRE !!"
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