The Top 10 Signs It's Time to Abandon Your Space Station

10> Latest addition to the onboard crew? Some French guy who brought 200 cartons of cigarettes.

9> Mission Control announces they're going to attempt a tricky docking maneuver with the Space Shuttle Kevorkian.

8> Space station's warranty expired 3,834,621 miles ago.

7> Tang and Stoli screwdrivers have lost their kick.

6> The damage is repairable, but ever since the collision, "Comrade Wussky" has been shrieking nonstop.

5> Ship's computer calmly says, "I don't know what air leak you're talking about, Comrade Dave."

4> It's down to just you and Sigourney Weaver.

3> Old ladies swatting at you with rakes from their roof tops.

2> Spice Girls on the holodeck.

1> That last little collision not only set off the emergency warning, it ruined the last of your clean boxer shorts.

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