A DoG cALLeD *SeX*
Everybody i know who has a dog usually calls him *rover* or
*spot*..i called
mine *sex*..now sex has been very embarrassing to me..when i went
to the city
hall to renew the dog's license for sex..i told the clerk i'd
like a license
for sex..he said..
"i would like to have one too!"..then i said..
"she is a dog!!"..he said he didnt care what she looked
like..i said..
"you don't understand..i had sex since i was 9 years
old."..he replied..
"you must have been quite a strong boy."
when i decided to get married..i told the minister that i
would like to have
sex at the weddimg..he told me to wait until after the wedding
was over..i
said..
"but sex has played a big part in my life and my life
revolves around
sex."..he said he didn't want to hear about my personal life
and would not
marry us in his church..i told him everybody would like having
sex at the
wedding..the next day..we were married at the justice of
peace..my family is
barred from the church then on..
when my wife and i went on out honeymoon..i took the dog with
me..when we
checked into the motel, i told the clerk that i wanted a room for
me and my
wife and a special room for sex..he said every room in the motel
is a place
for sex..i said..
"you don't understand..sex keeps me awake at
night.."..the clerk said..
"me too!"
one day i entered sex in a contest..but before the competition
began..sex
ran away..another contestant asked me why i was just looking
around..i told
him that i was going to have sex in the contest..he said that i
should have
sold my own tickets..
"you don't understand!!"..i said.."i hoped to have
sex on TV!!"..
he called me a show off..
when my wife and i seperated..we went to court to fight for
custody of the
dog..i said..
"your honor..i had sex before i was married..but sex left me
after i was
married.."..
the judge said..
"me too!!"
last night..sex ran off again..i spent hours looking all over
for her..a cop
came over and asked me what i was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock
in the
morning..i said..
"i'm looking for sex.."..
my case comes up next thursday..
well..now i have been thrown in jail..been divorced..and had
more damn
troubles with that dog than i ever foresaw..why..just the other
day when i
went for my first session with my psychiatrist..she asked me..
"what seems to be the trouble?"..i replied..
"sex has been my best friend all of my life..but now it has
left me
forever..i couldn't live any longer..so lonely.."..and the
doctor said..
"look mister..you should understand sex isn't a man's best
friend..so get
yourself a dog.."
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