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10 FUN
THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the
store.
2. Two words: "Marco Polo."
3. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food
aisle, etc.
4. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
5. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look
with various funnels.
6. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,
quickly make
off with it without saying a word.
7. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
8. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the
fetal position
and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
9. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
10. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and
relax. If the
store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't
get out
much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
*BONUS* Attempt all of the above during the same visit.
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