Official Rules for Calling Shotgun
The Shotgun Rules
Version 1.1
The rules listed below apply to the calling of Shotgun (the
passenger seat)
in an automobile. These rules are definitive and binding.
Section I
The Basic Rules
1. In order to call Shotgun, the caller must pronounce the
word "Shotgun"
in a clear voice. This call must be heard and acknowledged by the
driver.
The other occupants of the vehicle need not hear the call as long
as the
driver verifies the call.
2. Shotgun may only be called if all occupants of the vehicle
are outside
and on the way to said vehicle.
3. Early calls are strictly prohibited. Shotgun may only be
called while
walking toward the vehicle and only applies to the drive
immediately
forthcoming. Shotgun can never be called while inside a vehicle
or still
technically on the way to the first location. For example, one
can not get
out of a vehicle and call Shotgun for the return journey.
4. The driver has final say in all ties and disputes. The
driver has the
right to suspend or remove all shotgun privileges from one or
more persons.
Section II
Special Cases
These special exceptions to the rules above should be
considered in the order
presented; the case listed first will take precedence over any of
the cases
beneath it, when applicable.
1. In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is
drunk or
otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she
is
automatically given Shotgun.
2. In the instance that the person who actually owns the
vehicle is not
driving, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they
decline.
3. In the instance that the driver's spouse, lover, partner,
or hired
prostitute for the evening is going to accompany the group,
he/she is
automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline.
4. In the instance that one of the passengers may become so
ill during the
course of the journey that the other occupants feel he/she will
toss their
cookies, then the ill person should be given Shotgun to make
appropriate use
of the window.
5. In the instance that only one person knows how to get to a
given
location and this person is not the driver, then as the
designated navigator
for the group they automatically get Shotgun, unless they
decline.
6. In the instance that one of the occupants is too wide or
tall to fit
comfortably in the back seat, then the driver may show mercy and
award
Shotgun to the genetic misfit. Alternatively, the driver and
other
passengers may continually taunt the poor fellow as they make a
three hour
trip with him crammed in the back.
Section III
Survival of the Fittest Rule
1. If the driver so wishes, he/she may institute the Survival
of the
Fittest Rule on the process of calling Shotgun. In this case all
rules,
excepting I-4, are suspended and the passenger seat is occupied
by whoever
can take it by force.
2. The driver must announce the institution of the Survival of
the Fittest
Rule with reasonable warning to all passengers. This clause
reduces the
amount of blood lost by passengers and the damage done to the
vehicle.
Please follow the above rules to the best of your ability. If
there are any
arguments or exceptions not covered in these rules, please refer
to rule I-4.
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